Do you ever feel like your partner is half listening? Like they’re more interested in their phone than you? You aren’t alone. 86 % of American adults admit to feeling a lack of control when it comes to checking their devices.
We all do it for different reasons—to check social media posts, reply to work emails, respond to the never ending stream of text messages and check-ins. Everywhere you look people are more connected to the digital world than the actual human bodies they’re spending time with. Phones have become an extra limb, a limb that has the power to negatively impact our intimate relationships.
So what can you do to avoid this stressor?
Being intentional and mindful about taking breaks from your phone when connecting with your partner can help to strengthen intimacy and build connection.
And of course there will be a whole slew of reasons that make this seemingly simple task difficult: What if an important work call comes in? What if one of the kids needs me? What if the doctor calls me back?
But you have to remember that there was a time before we were glued to our phones, a time where we didn’t need the answer to every single question instantaneously. Trust that the important information will find its way to you, even if you take a 15 minute phone break to connect with your partner.
Find ways to integrate these small technology breaks into your daily routine.
Next time you go to take your phone to the dinner table, leave it charging in the other room. When you and your spouse are on a date night, leave your phones in the glove compartment. Carve out a time to unplug that works for you. Maybe that last half hour before bed when the kids are asleep and the office is closed is the most reasonable.
Couples who take time to disconnect from their phones and reconnect with each other report feeling a deeper sense of closeness and renewed feelings of intimacy. They feel more heard and seen and are able to better remember important aspects of conversations with their partner.
We know phones are a powerful force in our world, but at Couples Therapy Services, we believe that love conquers all.
Couples Therapy Services can help you
It’s not too late to re-establish connection and long-lasting intimacy. In couples therapy, you can learn to communicate more effectively, regulate your emotions, build coping skills, feel a greater sense of self-worth, and find peace in your relationship. Call or text 732-656-8398, or fill out the contact form to schedule an appointment.